When My Perfectionist Finally Let Me Press Publish

Today, I have been dealing with my perfectionist, and she's finally agreed to let me press 'publish'.

As of today, 6th of February 2025, I am committed to having a Blog.

A portal into an expression that wants to be seen through me.

It is going to happen.

And….

There is a part of me that is delaying taking the step to actually press publish.

~

At the moment, she is having fun delaying through creating systems to organise the blog and my creative writing process.

I've been delving into using Notion, watching videos, experimenting with creating systems and writing flows….

Useful and important, one could say... (And honestly? It's pretty cool.)

A part of my brain gets really turned on by systems. Like a sexy nerd.

And……

I could spend a big chunk of time putting ALL the written content I have EVER produced. And it would take a LONG long time. And all that time I'm actually not putting myself out there.

At some point it becomes an escape from the next step.

The scary one.

To ACTUALLY put ONE of these writings OUT THERE.

Chan Chan CHAN!!!!

Sooooooooo....

It looks like the next NECESSARY step is to…..

Choose one piece of writing.

Done! This one.

No more organisation until at least one action on the editing pile moves forward.

No more escaping.

Big breath….

A part inside, probably a teenage part that says "ooookeeeyyyy" dropping their shoulders while letting go of a layer.

It feels like something collapsed at that teen age. And it has been the one running the show since.

And now it has dropped.

Underneath that collapse there was always the aliveness of wanting to be truly seen.

So here we go!

~

Anyway, back to riding the wave perfectionist.

I could have stayed a much longer time adding to my Notion System. And then you wouldn't be reading these words right now. And today would not have become the day of my first ever published post!

ROUND OF APPLAUSE 👏🏼

Cheers 🥂 for This First !! And for many more to come 🥳❤️